18 January 2011

Be Careful What You Ask For

I can remember being told – “Be careful what you ask for…” The biggest example I was given – was with Patience… when you pray for patience, well – you’re put to the fire & tested… and at the end of it – hopefully you learned that you have to have patience in many situations. Well – I never wanted to go through the fire & testing – so I’ve never actually prayed for patience… that doesn’t mean that I never went through some trials – but – I never went specifically in search of learning/obtaining more patience. (My children can attest to that!) But – I’m getting away from my intended subject matter…

I write this specifically in regards to my life with multiple sclerosis. In the summer of 2010 – I went through a period of time where I literally could not feel my left leg – at all. It was there – it just didn’t register. I recall one neurologist at a university - that may not of completely believed me – who actually drew blood by poking my foot with a safety pin needle… Anyway – I remember whispering thoughts, prayers, and wishes – that I could feel my left side again. It was truly troubling to me that I couldn’t feel the touch of my children – or my husband – and I longed for sensation to return. Well – my prayers/wishes were answered… I can feel my left side now – but I feel everything wrapped in a thick layer of pain. It’s a pain the most OTC pain relievers can’t touch… you see it’s still related to the MS & some pesky misfiring nerves.

Moral of the story: I just need to be a bit more specific when I send up those whispered prayers… “please let me feel again – the true sensation of touch & control – without the caveat of a layer of pain.”

We’re working on finding the right medication to help alleviate the nerve miscommunication – but in the mean time when people say “It’s all in your head” – well – I just have to agree. 